Matchmaker London Tips and Advice
Matchmaker London Relationship Expert James Preece brings you his latest tips.
We’ve all been guilty of browsing our significant others’ social media. It’s hard to resist seeing what they are up to when you’re not around. With the information so easily available, you might find yourself in a few tough situations. You may see a picture of your spouse with someone questionable. Now you’re torn: To ask, or not to ask?
If you ask, they might get upset that you were invading their privacy by “sneaking around” (even if their information is public!). As much as we’d like to think “the innocent have nothing to hide”, sometimes it’s just a disbelief that you don’t trust them. After all, trust is the most important part of a relationship. If you’re questioning the person you’re with, maybe you should ask yourself why. On the other hand, if you don’t ask about the picture, it might eat you up inside. Even the most trusting of us get curious sometimes. There’s nothing wrong with a quick peak, if the information is public. There is never an acceptable reason for logging into your significant others’ social media accounts to see what they are doing. That is a violation of their privacy and the trust of your relationship.
But, there comes a time when you ask yourself “is social media ruining my love life?!?” Especially if you find yourself obsessing over the information your significant other is sharing. This may be personal information about the two of you. It may be too much information about themselves. You may feel they are using their social media as dating platforms and are “too out there”. Unfortunately, this issue has taken hold of many relationships. You start to think you were better off before social media existed. The communication was easier, because you didn’t have to worry about them always being on social media. Let’s not sugar coat it: Disloyal people will always find a way.
We can’t blame social media for our lack of trust in one another. Yes, it makes it easier to find out if someone has been disloyal. However, it makes it easier to prey on our own insecurities about disloyalty as well. That same photo that got you worried might have been as innocent as new born bird. You only jump to the conclusion that something is up because we’re programmed to be distrusting. In this situation, you should be able to ask about a picture. Your significant other should be willing to tell you all about it. That’s open communication. That leads to putting your insecurities at ease, because they have nothing to hide. But, they can’t be the answer to your embedded trust issues.
Sadly, the issue of social media and creeping each others’ pages boils down to how we view the world. The more trusting of us don’t bother looking. Or do so in passing and take no notice. While others find even the smallest thing to grow concerned over.
If you’re in a relationship where there is concern, you need to talk to each other. If talking isn’t an option, it’s not a relationship. Every healthy relationship should have an open line of communication. No one is perfect. There are still bound to be occasional overreactions. We are all human, after all. Flawed, but learning. As long as you’re making the conscious effort to be open, that is what matters.
If you’d like some help with your relationship, James Preece is the UK’s leading dating coach.