Personal Matchmaking Guide to Coffee shops Dating

As personal matchmaking experts we know most people are a little anxious before a first date with someone new. You’re never really sure how the date is going to go. You don’t know if you’re going to say the right things or look silly. It’s always a gamble, especially if you’re stepping way past your comfort zone. For most people, the ideal first date is a restaurant or a movie. For some, it’s heading out to the club or a nice wine bar. These are all great date options, sure. But when it comes to first date ideas , your best option is a simple coffee shop. This is something many personal matchmaking experts will suggest.

Why? Because it provides the three basic elements of a first date: Affordability, intimacy, and lastly, security.

Affordability

Money is a big issue, especially in this economy! If you’re going out on first dates all the time, dinner and movies can get really expensive. Let’s face it, if there’s no second date, it feels like a waste and no one wants to waste their money. If there is a second date, there’s a chance you’re not having an issue with dating. For most of us, it takes a few “first dates” to get to a second or third date with the same person. So it’s logically to think that the least expensive date options are at the top of our lists.

Getting coffee or a light snack with someone can be a minimal cost, which means it’s easy to do over and over again. The same can be said about museums and fairs and other public events. However, large crowds take away from intimacy and are better for second date ideas .

Intimacy

Intimacy is one of the aspects that we tend to focus on during any first meeting. You want to avoid loud places and crowds. You want to be in an environment where it’s easy enough to talk to each other. After all, you’re getting to know each other. How are you going to do that when you’re yelling overtop of club music? How can you ask personal questions when you’re surrounded by a group of strangers? The short answer is: You can’t and you won’t. These types of dates should be saved for later on in the dating process.

Initially, a quiet and intimate setting is ideal. A coffee shop gives you the chance to talk to each other without a lot of distraction. The most intimate atmosphere would likely be at home. There’s no one interrupting you and you have the chance to ask absolutely anything you might want to know. But a situation like this can lead to feelings of anxiety and even panic. Especially if you don’t know the neighbourhood you’re heading into or you don’t feel comfortable enough with someone to be alone with them.

Coffee shop dates balance the need for intimacy (eg: enough quiet to have a real conversation) with the need for security (eg: a public atmosphere that doesn’t feel intimidating).

Security

While a coffee shop is often a quiet and private location, it’s not entirely isolated. If you feel uncomfortable, you have the option to leave. If you feel threatened, there are people all around who can help you. This doesn’t tend to be an issue on most dates, but it is a subconscious fear. We’re all worried about the “what if”‘s of the dates we’re going on. By choosing a coffee shop for your first date, you can alleviate those types of anxiety. This will help you to relax overall and be able to enjoy your date more. You’d be surprised how many first dates are a flop simply because one or both individuals felt personally anxious!

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