I have always been a matchmaker even before it was my job and for a long time it was my dream to make it into a profession for myself. I had the name ‘Little Black Book’ for years before I made the leap but when the time was right, I went for it and haven’t looked back.

What makes you different to other companies/matchmakers?

 

Little Black Book is small and bespoke, we only work for certain people and maintain a close relationship with all our clients throughout their membership. We don’t take just anybody as a client, only if we genuinely think we can help.

What do you like most (and least) about being a matchmaker?

 

The absolute best thing about being a matchmaker is when a match ends in marriage, babies, co-habiting or whatever the ‘happily ever after’ is for the couple. There is no better feeling than having made such a life-changing, positive impact on two people’s lives. Matchmaking can also be very tough, it’s dealing with emotions of the heart and not every match works out, we live through that with the client too.

Do you think the way matchmakers are viewed in the UK is changing?

 

It’s a long time since there’s been any stigma about getting help with dating. 20 years ago, online dating was seen as very seedy but now it’s very much the norm. Time poor people outsource more and more of their lives and what more important aspect is there than finding the right partner? Maybe I’m too close to it but I rarely hear anything negative about the idea of matchmaking. Of course matchmaking doesn’t work for everyone, so there will always be the naysayers. The client absolutely has to be in the right frame of mind for there to be successful outcome.

Do you have any funny or interesting dating stories?

 

Being a matchmaker is interesting every day and sometimes funny. I couldn’t possibly share any particular anecdotes because someone might read this who recognizes themselves. Discretion is key in matchmaking.

What’s the best advice you would give to someone looking for a partner?

 

Be open to the idea that your perfect partner may not be the type of person you’re necessarily expecting. The longer your list of requirements, the slimmer your chance of finding them. If you have a ‘type’ and you’re still single, try changing your type because that might be part of the reason.

What are the most common mistakes people make when dating?

 

Many people expect sparks to fly from the outset and believe that without them the relationship doesn’t have a future. That absolutely isn’t the case, for a start sparks have to made, they don’t just happen and people often confuse lust for long-term compatibility.

What your greatest success story?

 

We had two brand new clients who we couldn’t wait to put together, it was the first match in the membership for both of them. They didn’t need any further matches and were recently married.  It doesn’t get any better than that!

Have your met your own life partner?  If so, how did you know they were the one?

 

Yes. I’ve been married for 12 years. I didn’t know he was the one straight away. Like many people I had a template that a boyfriend should fit and he didn’t fit it at all but thankfully I realised that it was the template that was wrong.

Do you believe in soulmates?

 

I don’t believe a person has one soulmate but I think that in a strong relationship we grow together and become soulmates over time.

 

What qualities do you think make for a great partner?

 

Kind, honest, loyal and thoughtful. After that anything else is a bonus.

What is the best way for a man to approach or a woman?  Is it OK for a woman to approach a man?

 

Approaching is pretty difficult at the moment, but in ’normal’ times, I think the most effective way is an act of kindness without expectation; pay for their coffee, send a drink over to their table in a bar, help with their shopping or simply pay them a specific and genuine compliment. It’s definitely okay for women to do this too. Always check the wedding ring finger first.

What is the secret of a long and happy relationship?

 

Trust and mutual respect.

How do you think dating is changing (especially due to the pandemic) and what will happen in the near future?

 

People have certainly reevaluated their priorities and casual flings have become less relevant for many. Pre-pandemic, single life was fun; festivals, parties, hanging out with different friends every day of the week… but take that away and it really highlights the downside of being single. There has been a noticeable drop in the average age of my clients in the last 6 months because many of the opportunities that were previously there, for younger people to meet organically have all but disappeared.  Fingers crossed in the not too distant future, we will all be out and about again but hopefully the renewed priorities will last a little longer.