What makes you different to other companies/matchmakers?


I think the matchmaker and client relationship should be a close one, and I feel like all of my clients are people I care about, beyond when their membership ends. And I cant say that is not the case for other matchmakers, but I definitely offer a very 1:1 service, and I can give more time and attention to them then perhaps larger agencies do, because I work with a number of clients that I can manage.
I don’t pass them on once they join, I stick with them throughout their journey, holding their hand every step of the way.

What do you like most (and least) about being a matchmaker?


I really love just hearing peoples stories, all my clients are so inspirational to me, in many ways. I never get tired of learning from people, everyone you meet teaches you something, and because I speak to new people every day, I feel like my mind is always been expanded. I don’t like it when someone has such specific ideas about what they want in a partner, when it feels they may be objectifying someone rather than being open to the connection coming in a different package than they may have gone to before. My ideal client is someone who says. I trust you, I am open. And my nightmare client is someone who won’t allow me to intuitively match, and has a shopping list they wont move away from.

Do you think the way matchmakers are viewed in the UK is changing?

I think its starting to do a full circle, people used to use matchmakers all the time, and it was a trusted way to meet, then the apps got people curious, but now people are seeing although there seems to be a lot of choice on apps, they aren’t been given a fair chance to get themselves across, there is little to no connection, and they also often find it hard work, and frustrating, so they see matchmakers as a better route to go down, as they will be treated with courtesy and respect by the people they are introduced to, and at least know if they are seriously looking, they will meet people who are too.

Taking the work out of their hands, and  there’s no shame in using a matchmaker now, in fact I think, with all the dating shows people have been watching during lockdown, there will be more matchmakers popping up, and people will see it as trendy to use a matchmaker, just in the same way people use personal trainers.
Matchmakers and coaches are really personal trainers for your love life. The good thing about some shows, is they are starting to show more of what goes into matchmaking, and it makes sense to alot of people, particularly those who have busy careers.

Do you have any funny or interesting dating stories?


Oh gosh, I could write a whole book! I probably will, with names anon of course!

What’s the best advice you would give to someone looking for a partner?


Call me! Haha. Honestly I would say figure out who you are first, once you have a good idea of what you stand for, its easier to spot the person to stand by your side. And what you have been trying hasn’t been working, try something different. Don’t give up at the first sign of disappointment, stay committed to the process,as with anything in life, success isn’t without a few bumps in the road.

What are the most common mistakes people make when dating?


Not following up after dates, talking about themselves too much, getting into negative discussions, writing someone off after one date, I think the first date is just to see if theres enough to keep you interested for a second date, yet people expect sparks to fly!

What your greatest success story?


A couple who both said if they saw each other online wouldn’t have picked each other, but trusted my recommendation to meet, got engaged in 6 months. This is why I love it when clients, really put their trust in me, I love to be free to match intuitively, that’s where the magic happens

Have your met your own life partner?  If so, how did you know they were the one?


I have indeed, honestly it took me a while to be sure. We were friends for years before we got involved romantically, it felt very easy being with him, that I was almost like, wheres that obsessive behaviour I usually feel for someone? But I realised he feels most like home than anyone I’ve ever dated, and has a calming influence on me, which is really what I needed.
Its funny, because you go out looking for what you want. But really the best kind of person you can end up with, is someone you want, but who really gives you just what you need.
I really feel now my wants and needs are fully met, and we are both committed to our own personal growth, and support each other to grow, with that our love and admiration for each other grows too.

Do you believe in soulmates?


I do, but not in the sense of we are only half of ourselves until we find the missing piece. I believe you can find it not just in a romantic partner, but you can have friendships where you feel like soulmates too.To me its really having someone that ‘gets you’ you don’t need to always explain yourself, there’s this deep knowing of one another, that is special and I think that’s where you really find life long connections. Where you can go a long time without seeing that person, and immediately you are connected like no time has really passed .

What qualities do you think make for a great partner?


Great listening skills, compromise, kindness, attentiveness, team player.

What is the best way for a man to approach or a woman?  Is it OK for a woman to approach a man?


Personally I think women who are waiting for a man to speak to them, will be missing a lot of opportunities, men are nervous to approach much of the time, and not wanting to be seen as a nuisance lol, so as a woman I think we should just make it easier for a man to approach, give him a smile, look him in the eye, just give a signal of warmth. I wouldn’t go chatting a guy up, but I wouldn’t be afraid to be friendly and be the first to speak. In my experience that works very well.
Now its harder for men to approach women in public where we are all wearing masks and social distancing. But if you are to approach online, I would be polite, introduce yourself, and give at least a small compliment.

What is the secret of a long and happy relationship?


Friendship, laughter, good conversation, team work, growth, the ability to be able to talk about anything and everything with each other, and the ability to resolve conflict in a healthy way.

How do you think dating is changing (especially due to the pandemic) and what will happen in the near future?


Now dates don’t need to be all about going to a fancy bar or restaurant, people are going back to basics, a walk in the park, picnics, just being together. Which really is in many ways a good thing, I think it may just bring back romance and courting. That’s my hope anyway!


What trends and changes do you see happening over the next few years in the dating world?


I’ve already seen a boom in matchmakers launching in 2020, and I think matchmaking will also be more affordable, before it used to be 5-6 figures to join an agency, so seemed to be only reserved for the elite. But it is becoming more accessible to people on different income levels. I also think there will be a lot more virtual events happening, following covid, I think this will also create more opportunities for people who were only looking in their city, to reach further afield, so more international connections too.


Any tips for Virtual Dating?


Make the effort, set your camera up so you have a flattering angle, make sure you have no interruptions, play a little background music if you like, to create more atmosphere. Still dress up for it. Have notes on your screen with some positive reminders of what to talk about, steer away from talking about things like covid, politics. Smile often.
Keep it brief, I would keep it to 30 minutes, keep them curious to know more.



We hope you enjoyed this Dating Expert Interview . You can find out more about Matchmaker Siobhan Copland and her London dating agency Cupid in the City:   HERE