Matchmaker Interview with Lorraine Adams
Lorraine Adams is the owner and head matchmaker of the Club Gorgeous Dating Agency.
Why Did You Decide To Become A Matchmaker?
I became a matchmaker nearly 24 years ago. I was in my 30’s and had just ended a very long 17 year relationship with my daughter’s father. Online dating had not really materialised, the handful of dating agencies around at the time were not terribly inspiring and they made me feel like a bit of a loser! I had lots of friends in similar situations as me, professional, busy, vibrant and I thought appealing – I did not want to start going out to nightclubs again as I had before i met my partner and the classified ads at the back of newspapers did not appeal. So, I though, if there is nothing out there for people like me, I’ll start my own service. This was how I actually pioneered the whole Speed dating concept
What Makes You Different To Other Companies/Matchmakers?
Nearly three years ago, during lockdown, after having been running my matchmaking service for over 20 years – I started to feel that the gap between expensive matchmaking services and dating apps was widening. There was very little in between. So I launched my affordable introductions service. Its a hybrid service. We vet everyone, write our clients profiles and offer some of the personal aspects that you would expect from a matchmaking service. Our service takes away the uncertainty that you would encounter using dating apps. Everyone who joins Club Gorgeous is seeking a long-term partner, we help introduce you to other people who could be a great fit. It has been phenomenally successful.
What Do You Like Most (And Least) About Being A Matchmaker?
Matching people together can be so rewarding. especially when I can use all my expertise and guidance to help a client change their approach to dating and ultimately change their lives when they meet their forever person. The most challenging part is working with clients who use my services but who are totally inflexible with their approach and continue on a path that had been previously unsuccessful prior to joining. When you can see so clearly what obstacles clients are placing in their own way to hinder their search it can be really frustrating.
Do You Think The Way Matchmakers Are Viewed In The UK Is Changing?
I think definitely more men are using introductions services than ever before, which makes it easier for matchmakers as right up until a few years ago it was predominantly more women joining matchmaking services. Most matchmakers that I collaborate with work really hard for their clients. I think most professional people view dating apps as a lost cause so the matchmaking industry has grown massively in recent years. A matchmaking or Introductions service can be so massively helpful to someone who has a busy life. As we get older we simply do not have as many romance opportunities present themselves organically, it really is one of the best ways to discovering your partner, as you are tapping into so much help as well as a new network.
Do You Have Any Funny Or Interesting Dating Stories?
I get so many referrals from clients who refer their friends and colleagues. Once without realising, I presented a male client to his ex-wife (also a client) without realising that they had been previously married to each other!
What’S The Best Advice You Would Give To Someone Looking For A Partner?
Throw away your wish list and keep an open mind. Most of the couples I have brought together fell in love with someone quite different to who they envisaged. Remember your dating journey is just that, it is a process, you have to spend time and energy, it won’t just happen like magic, you learn more about yourself as you go along and that is vital for discovering the right person and also rediscovering yourself.
What Are The Most Common Mistakes People Make When Dating?
Thinking that someone is just going to fit exactly into their lives. People come to me and say “I have a great life, I just want the cherry on top of the cake – a new partner” It never works like that, you have to be prepared for huge changes and you have to be ready to adapt and to become more flexible, not just during your dating but also in your relationship. Another common mistake is to believe that your forever person is going to be found conveniently located to you – it rarely work like that!
What Is Your Greatest Success Story?
My greatest success stories happen regularly – I have been continually bringing couples together for nearly 24 years! I find particular pleasure in helping someone adapt their mindset which results in them finding their special person, after they have spent years searching.
What Trends And Changes Do You See Happening Over The Next Few Years In The Dating World?
I feel that tech blended with a personal service will become huge. I also see dating app companies losing customers in their thousands – because dating apps treat their customers like a commodity, they just do not understand it is an emotive service, it is not a one size fits all
Have Your Met Your Own Soulmate? If So, How Did You Know?
I have been with my partner now for nearly 20 years – we actually met at the gym. He just kept staring at me for weeks – in the end I had to give him a helpful hand in engaging in a conversation. He asked me to dinner that same day – we have not looked back!
What Qualities Do You Think Make For A Great Partner?
Having similar values, a similar energy aura, having a similar vision for the future or buying into their partners vision when they hear it. Plus, the art of adaptability. Finding a partner with a flexible attitude and outlook and having one yourself is a winning combination. Obviously trust – but that has to be built and earned. These are the single most sustaining aspects of a long-term relationship. Everything else, surface level or logistical is far less important – it will not be until you are falling in love when you realise this. That is why having a matchmaker, a wing person guiding you will make your journey more enjoyable and more fruitful.
What Would Be The Perfect First Date?
A simple coffee date and a walk is my advice for a first date. Just to acquaint yourselves and see if there is any mileage. A second date is when you want to delve under the surface, so choose something like a round of crazy golf, or roller skating or cycling together or a row on the river. You will learn an awful lot more about that person and how they react to things than just keep meeting for drinks/dinner etc.
What Is The Secret Of A Long And Happy Relationship?
Being flexible and adaptable – it is more difficult as you get older. I think it is harder for people in their 50’s and 60’s to set up home together because they are often so set in their ways. It is advisable to first spend 5-6 years together at least, leading your own independent lives to be sure of the relationship success. Starting all over again in your 60’s or 70’s after moving your whole life around can be gloomy otherwise!